Five Things about J. League 2014

You don’t need Nike or adidas to win the league.

J. League 2014 has wrapped up this month, with Gamba Osaka resurrected from death to ascend to the top. Just like the birthday boy (yea, actually He was born around May and 25th December is actually the birthday of Roman god Invictus Sol). I was going to call J. League the ________ League of Asia but that won’t work. Premier League? Not enough international stars (more on this later). Bundesliga? Might work ten years ago, plus now the best of J. League play in Bundesliga (ten years ago it would have been Serie A), but Bundesliga is now waaay better than Premier League.

Serie A then? Let’s see…famous names who are terrible in Champions League? Yes. A shadow of their 20th century selves? Yes. Corruption and match fixings? No, that would be China. Openly racist and sexist directors? Racist and sexist yes, but not openly. International fans who never abandon them? Yes. Fertile pool for future superstars? That works for Japan but not Italy.

So J. League is not even the Serie A of Asia. Because J. League it’s better, although it’s true that Honda looks more dashing wearing adidas’ Milan shirt than Umbro’s Gamba Osaka shirt (hey, you don’t see him playing for Urawa, do you?) Now he only needs to score several more goals for Milan and everything will be alright.

So, what’s 2014 about for Asia’s most popular league?

1. Like Japan, J. League is getting insular.

Japan’s response to the rise of China and Korea? Retreat to the mountain. The corporate owners of J. League teams don’t like how the world put their brands as an option besides (even behind) their Korean and Chinese competitors. Panasonic, owner of Gamba, experienced a resurgence in the 2000s from Lumix digital cameras, but now non-Japanese smartphones have put pocket cameras out of business, and professional photographers prefer Canon and Nikon (fellow Japanese, thankfully) for the big guns. Hitachi, owner of Kashiwa, has stopped making TV.

As J-pop refuses Western influences in contrast to K-pop and Japanese fanboys cling to the infantile AKB48 (mature-looking Korean girl bands are too scary for them), Japan is also cutting ties with its traditional Korean connection. Sagan Tosu were a serious contender for the championship thanks to coach Yoon Jung-hwan and playmaker Kim Min-woo. Could not bear the idea that a Korean could bring a traditionally minnow team to lift the trophy, the club fired Yoon on August. Tosu ended up not going to Champions League 2015, but the Japanese face of Sagantus is saved. I wonder if chairman Minoru Takehara or the governor of Saga was just aware of the Korean history epic Roaring Currents that summer.

So J. League clubs decreased the number of Koreans (on the other hand, many Koreans looking for international experience seem to prefer Arabian clubs. Plus, J. League teams still prefer Koreans over Australians for their Asian Foreign Player slot) but keep the Brazilians as acceptable foreigners. Sure, there are exceptions from Europe, but no African and Argentine played in 2014 J. League Division 1. Credit though, to Shimizu, who employed a Croatian-Canadian, a Slovenian, and a dark-skinned Chinese-Dutch.

 

2. Big Name Foreigners Cannot Flourish in J. League

J. League was the first Asian leagues to feature European legends – some continued to coaching like Zico, Dragan Stojkovic, and Guido Buchwald. But Japan was out of money by 1997 and never recovered its glamor, and now China and the Gulf have it.

Cerezo Osaka tried a play from Shanghai and Guangzhou clubs and recruited Diego Forlan – best Uruguayan footballer before World Cup 2010 – and Brazilian-German striker Cacau who was also in South Africa 2010. The result? Seventeen losses. Cacau played only eleven matches and scored five goals, while Forlan scored seven goals and a couple in Asia. Still, very disappointing for a man who played in 2014 World Cup. A Manchester United fan who scoffed at him in 2004, saying he’ll only good enough for an Asian league in ten years time, couldn’t get any more accurate than that.

So, why can’t big name foreigners flourish in J. League? First, only one club tried it. Cerezo’s town rivals Gamba won the league using two forwards who were benchwarmers back in Brazil.

Second, the money. If Patric and Lins would be good enough in 2015 AFC Champions League, they will be approached by richer Arabian or Chinese clubs (the Arabs from oil and sovereign funds, the Chinese from property and trade networks) . Thanks to their disastrous responses to the rise of Korea and China (instead of studying what works), Japanese conglomerates are struggling to keep their business afloat, and thus cannot be generous with their football clubs’ budgets. On the other hand, Australians and even English envy Japan’s talent development – at least the academies are working.

 

3. Will J. League Blow Again in 2015 AFC Champions League?

This is like the English and Italian problems. The world sings their clubs’ names. Children on the farthest corners of the world wear club jerseys bearing names like Oscar, Gerrard, Totti, and Vidal. But they have the slim chance of winning the 2015 UEFA Champions League (it’s zero for Liverpool). Worse than Japan, England and Italy have the slimmer chance to win the continental cup.

So why Japan keep on losing in the ACL? Let’s blame it first on distance. Do you know that compared to the distance of St. Petersburg and Madrid, the distance between Hiroshima and Dubai is…aw, forget it. They even could not hold a night in Seoul or Guangzhou, let alone Sydney.

Actually in 2014 Japanese clubs held themselves well in the group stage. Kawasaki were better than Ulsan. Hiroshima prevailed over Beijing. Cerezo defeated not only Buriram but also Shandong. Yokohama were unlucky enough to be grouped with both Jeonbuk and Evergrande. But if they could not handle flight fatigue to Guangzhou and Sydney, how could Korean clubs and Western Sydney prepared themselves for trips across India and the Arabian Sea?

So it went down to money and motivation. I don’t think club owners ordered their teams to throw away the match. But maybe the players and the managers themselves were not that interested with Asian tours. Since the double years of 2007 and 2008, it seems that Japan saw no point of Asian adventures – just like how they treated the competition in 2004. Ironically, once more Japan let the Koreans took the glory – and now even the Australians.

 

4. Do Japanese next best things need J. League?

There is Son Heung-min and there is Ryo Miyaichi. Both skipped local competitions and tried their luck in Europe. Miyaichi is lucky to be listed for the provisional Asian Cup squad, but I don’t blame him if he enjoys the abuses against Arsene Wenger. Son, on the other hand, gets all Cristiano Ronaldo’s perks at least in Korea.

Of course parents of non-European football prodigies worry if Europe will be the nightmare of their sons’ careers. It happened to Takayuki Morimoto and Hiroshi Ibusuki. Sota Hirayama made a career suicide when the sleepiness of Almelo killed him. Now he won’t wear the three-legged crow crest again, but at least he can see the lights of Tokyo every night.

So it’s better to see if you’re good for J. League first, then for the national team. Like Okazaki or Uchida. The miracles of Kagawa and Honda won’t happen to everyone (Honda was practically unheard of outside Japan when he was playing for Nagoya). Then again, we have enough Okubos and Usamis to show that J. League might be the final frontier for the rest. The twist is that the world’s best Asian footballers (or even athletes) play outside the system. That’s why they are specials.

 

5. What will Happen to J. League in 2015?

J. League 2015 will return to the two parts system, Latin American style, topped with Korean or Australian style championship play-offs, in an attempt to draw back spectators and sponsors. British commentators are skeptical and football hipsters mourn the loss of its volatile nature. Maybe that’s what actually the suits want to settle. Maybe they want two Kanto clubs to act like Chelsea and Arsenal and two Kansai clubs (hmm…bit difficult now, eh?) to act like Manchester United and Manchester City. Nagoya can play Liverpool.

How it will effect Japanese football quality remains to be seen. I mean, look at Australia. Where have they gone wrong? To market their clubs well, however, club owners have to market their corporate brands better. I love Panasonic earphones, but of course they are jokes for Beat and Audio Technica wearing students. Pajero drivers are increasingly seen as dicks (female drivers included) in Southeast Asia, and uh, Sumitomo, what are you selling again?

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Evil Asian Football Clubs

Man, last night was intense, wasn’t it? I was really sure Western Sydney Wanderers would have blown it at the last minute, it’d had been 1-1 at full time, and Al Hilal would have steamrolled either in extra times (two goals) or penalty shootouts. But not. They were holding on, with Ante Covic blocked all possible shots or Al Hilal just flunked their great chances.

I was still thinking of writing from another angle, but Al Hilal’s reaction to the full time whistle confirmed my thought – instead of attacking bumbling referee Yuichi Nishimura, Nasser Al Shamrani and other Al Hilal players were attacking Western Sydney players instead.

The reason was same with the vitriolic hatred shown by Guangzhou Evergrande supporters toward Western Sydney, hatred for the ‘white men’ Australians. There was a big difference though. Al Hilal supporters showed themselves to be a good sport, in contrast to the club. At least after the end of the match, when they asked the wandering Australians to take group pictures of the men in blue jerseys. So, at the risk of walking through a painful memory lane (full of muggers and rats), I present several evil football clubs who were in the AFC Champions League final.

1. Al Hilal (Saudi Arabia)

Laurentiu from Arabia. Would Mourinho wear a bowler hat before the Champions League final? Or Pep wearing Lederhosen?

The Boss is indeed a titan of Asian football. Since Saudi players cannot play overseas, of course the best talents play in Saudi Professional League. Their Champions League matches feature full houses, which is a rarity – even their crowd counts often trump other Saudi competitors. Saudi oil, which is used for buying Ferraris instead of building better schools and creating employment for locals, was of course also used to buy football superstars (money from the oil, not the petrol itself) like Brazilians Mario Zagallo and Rivellino. And so Saudi’s orientation on Brazilian football was born, and in early 1990s they earned the “Brazil of Asia” moniker, due to their Brazilian links, individualized playing style, and since most of their footballers are African Arabs (gettit?). Not even Zico could turn Japan into  “Brazil of Asia”, after all.

Al Hilal won the 1991 and 2000 Asian Club Championship but surprisingly they never won the ‘new’ Champions League (wow. I thought they did. Apparently I confused them with their Jeddah rivals Al Ittihad).

My problem with Al Hilal began after I learned that the club complained about the absence of luxury in Sydney while Prince Al Waleed bin Talal promised big bonus for the club. In 2013 he made big fuss with Forbes since the magazine’s estimation of his wealth is below his (while many ethnic Chinese moguls said the magazine always overestimate their fortunes). To the point of threatening to sue Forbes, weeping on the phone, and hiring some white men to publish scathing papers against the magazine.

The club, meanwhile, complained about the hick town that was Sydney, saying that the stadium was shabby (unlike the wonderful King Fahd Stadium) and that the hotel they were staying (I assume Pullman Quay Grand Sydney Harbour) was too small (because unlike Saudi Arabia, Australia has this strange concept of wealth redistribution).

Back in Saudi Arabia, coach Laurentiu Reghecampf donned his Laurentiu of Arabia look, saying no way in hell Wanderers could defeat hims the second time, while Vice President Prince Abdulrahman bin Musaad asked Saudis to pray and do charity works, so that the pleased Allah will help Al Hilal with victory. Theeen…another VP, Mohamad al Hmaidani, called Al Hilal supporters to beat up other clubs’ supporters claiming bin Talal’s free ticket offers, added with obligatory “Yo’ Mama” expression.

At the first half, Al Hilal supporters used laser beams to intimidate the Wanderers (I expect it on the upcoming AFF Suzuki Cup. Idiots), unaware that the radiation gave Ante Covic superpower. Nassir Al Shamrani, one of Saudi’s finest strikers, became the villain of the final after repeatedly attacking substitute Matthew Spiranovic (Nishimura ignored, funny guy), then spat on him, and his club went on to win the Fair Play Award (previous winners were always Japanese and Korean clubs).

2. Guangzhou Evergrande (China)

What’s this, early football video game where the players use the same animation?

I tried to look the silver lining of Chinese football. When China were in the 2002 World Cup, I felt the great moment of Pan-Asian pride (of course, I relished the Germany 8 Saudi Arabia 0 match). But Chinese attitude in politics, environment, human rights, and its clubs attitude, made it harder for me to appreciate any bit of my ancestors’ homeland.

Again, Western Sydney Wanderers. Again, Juric scored the single goal in a night in Parramatta. Again, the richer club made several threats against the Australians. We are giants with wealth and power you can’t imagine. Evergrande even could take the brag to another notch – our coach had won the World Cup and the UEFA Champions League and our playmaker was good enough to play in the World Cup (I always insert Diamanti into my Italy 23). We are unbeatable. Our fanatical supporters will surround you in a massive dome you never seen before (again, Evergrande relied on female supporters, unlike Al Hilal who shunned them). We will show you the power of Asian football that will make you speechless. Prepare to suffer.

Essentially, both the royal Saudi and Chinese (for a communist state, they take their royalty seriously, don’t they?) can’t forgive the Australians for so many things. For setting up shop nearby. For being one of the best countries in the world without producing anything luxurious. For not being a part of thousand years imperial history. For being white and speaking English. For being a democracy.

The supporters, the Italians, and the football domination were not enough, anyway, that Evergrande supporters had to ram Western Sydney’s bus, had to terrorize their night, and yes, had to attack Covic’s eyes again with lasers. So much for their trust for Lippi, Diamanti, and the domestic players.

Tonight Evergrande has clinched another Chinese Super League title, and the league’s final top scorers tell the story – out of the top ten goal scorers, only one is Chinese. Wu Lei from Shanghai SIPG. The others might follow Evergrande’s strategy – defend and let the foreigners score.

3. Al Sadd (Qatar)

Play to win

 

When a Qatari talks about “The Boss” in football, he (hardly a she) talks about Al Sadd, winners of 2011 AFC Champions League. I saw on TV the terrible semi final match against Suwon, when Mamadou Niang (formerly a striker for Marseille and Fenerbahce) scored when Suwon thought Al Sadd would’ve waited for the on pitch treatment for Cho Sung-hwan. Well, if Jose Mourinho has not aware of the seriousness of head injury in 2014, so would Niang back in 2011. After the brawl (involving a pitch invader), Al Sadd’s Korean defender Lee Jung-soo walked out of the scene from frustration, asking to be subbed. It’s said he was censured by the management for not standing up for the club. But when he had to choose in 2012 between Al Sadd and Evergrande, he sticks with the lesser evil until today.

To my pain, Al Sadd defeated Jeonbuk to win the Champions League and defeated hosts Kashiwa Reysol in the Club World Cup.

4. Seongnam Ilhwa Chunma (Korea, 1989-2013)

A bad Korean club? Not that they did brawl in Champions League finals, but because they were owned by an evil organization – the Moonies. Or officially, the Church of Unification, who’s fond of marrying strangers based on the founder’s hunch (he’s literally the brother of Jesus, you know). After being a feeble team in the 1990s, in 1999 the club relocated from Cheonan to Seongnam, a satellite city of Seoul, and had more capital to attract top Korean players and decent foreigners. They dominated K-League in early 2000s but lost the 2004 Champions League final to Al Ittihad. In 2010 they finally won the Champions League and Sasa Ognenovski became a famous Socceroo.

Praise Jesus, in 2013 Sun Myung-moon after committing decades of crimes including asking Americans to forgive Richard Nixon, financing a terrible movie on the Battle of Inchon, creating The Washington Times, and evading tax. And oh, brainwashing people, intimidating those who want to leave his sect, and being cozy with Christian and Islamic religious nuts in United States (while waging war against Christian churches in Korea, interesting).

So with Sun bit the dust, the Moonies had little interest in running the club and sold it to the city of Ansan. After protests from club supporters, it was purchased by the government of Seongnam and now it’s a nice club. It’s unknown if Seongnam players were forced or persuaded to join Unification Church activities, but certainly many notable players from Korea and overseas used it as a stepping stone before moving to relatively saner clubs in Asia.

The four clubs I described were not necessarily evil in the sense of Dr. Evil from Evil University. Their players were professional footballers, not criminals. But they grow up in countries and societies that value wealth, ego, showmanship, and think little about social justice, communities, and ethics. In the case of Ilhwa Chunma, it grew up in the curious phenomenon that in Korea, that is industrious and impressible toward charismatic cults at the same time. I’m just glad that Sun’s death brought the end to the cult’s grip on the football club – a dark chapter in Korean history is behind us.

The same cannot be said for Saudi Arabia, China, and Qatar and many other Asian countries. I was one of Asians who deplored Australian entry into AFC, but well, the high hope that Australia can cure some diseases of Asian football is taking place, one step at a time. I’ve heard that some Australians demand AFC to drop sanction on Nasser Al Shamrani, while knowing it won’t happen. I still don’t know how did Koreans react to Niang’s unsportsmanlike behavior, besides calling Al Sadd as “Al Badd”.

But if Japanese media won’t talk (today Japanese supporters marched against racism – couldn’t find the news, sadly), then I applaud Australia’s loud call. Western Sydney Wanderers have proven that money and power cannot buy love. Let Asians take heed.

Trying to Love Winning Eleven is a waste of time, really

You might not like the title

In high school, I was the only one who played FIFA (right from when Dad bought FIFA International Soccer for Super Nintendo in early 1994, and asking an Australian game store clerk if there’s FIFA 95 for Super Nintendo – it’s a Genesis/Mega Drive exclusive).

Other kids played World Soccer Winning Eleven (WE), then known in the West as Goal Storm. The classic argument was that FIFA had no elegance – pass-pass-shoot-shoot, while WE rewarded tactic, individual skill, and brainy build up – even shot strength and direction.

But the more important reason WE was and is more popular in Asia than FIFA is because it’s a Japanese brand. Back in 1990s I didn’t care about Japanese culture (including anime and manga) and was into American and British culture, that’s why playing Manchester United and England with FIFA was such joy. Re-enacting MU’s Treble season on FIFA 99, to the tune of “The Rockafeller Skank”, was magical.

Then in 2001-2002 I fell in love with Japan and Korea (because of Utada Hikaru and My Sassy Girl, really), coincidentally fell into place with FIFA 2002 and 2003. Big difference between two versions – FIFA 2002 had 2000 AFC Asian Cup and complete schedule of Japan and Korea’s 2001 friendly schedules (including Kirin Cup series and 2001 FIFA Confederations Cup), being a licensed JFA product. On the other hand, FIFA 2003 did not have Japan at all (amusingly, it rated Lee Young-pyo as a 87 central midfielder).

Inamoto (Arsenal) vs Nakata (Parma)?! Sweet! As if!

So I bought Pro Evolution Soccer 2, as Winning Eleven 6 International was known in Europe and Australia, and re-enacted the 2002 World Cup (in the official game I could only play one team and it relied heavily on volleys, a stupid concept). I switched allegiance so I can play Japan (even then and now I find little fun in getting into the K-League).

Pro Evolution Soccer 4 was the peak – I played Park Ji-Sung in PSV Eindhoven and Japan’s friendlies (including semi finals of 2004 AFC Asian Cup, although it’s safe to say that both FIFA and WE had ignored international football at this point).

I stuck with Pro Evolution Soccer (PES), as now WE is known internationally (including in Asia) but by PES 6 I’d seen the sign. The presentation got more drab, the gameplay did not evolve (as I was reading about what FIFA’s up to), and steadily more disappointments came in. No German league at all. No improvement in team licenses. The boring commentary.

PES 2008 (supposedly PES 7, but Konami was tired of Westerners thinking they were one year behind FIFA) was a mixed bag. I could play 2007 AFC Asian Cup, but I could not play every team besides Australia, Japan, and Korea (not that I wanted to play Saudi Arabia and Iran). The group stage was replaced with home and away qualifications. The songs (all produced in house) was horrible and so was the menu outline – compared to FIFA 08.

I made no choice in 2008 and when I bought PlayStation 3, I chose FIFA 10. I didn’t really care about Japan, as long I could play the A-League, Nakamura in Espanyol (he’s supposedly the team’s best player!), Morimoto in Catania, and that wonderful blondie Honda in VVV. I could play UEFA Champions League with all the pristine kits and club names.

Even sharing attention with PES only made it worse. Yes, I could play 2011 AFC Asian Cup in PES 12, but I could not play Kagawa in Dortmund. Unlike in previous versions, you could not register Japanese national players to clubs – they could only be transferred from other clubs. The UEFA Champions League license was bleh with the English teams (Man Blue, London FC, North London, Merseyside) had to be inserted manually (computer tends to skip them when picking teams), and looking back at the cover, I noticed how insidious Konami was – it depicts Honda vs Nagatomo in their club jerseys, but all images of Kagawa shows him in Japan jersey.

Conned. Even the Japanese.

 

And oh, of course. J. League.

EA had featured K-League since 2000 and claimed they wanted to put in J. League too, but Konami has the exclusive right with J. League (and JFA, in terms of Japan national team). J. League, however, was and is only featured in the Japanese edition, while you can play K-League with whatever region your copy of FIFA is. J. League and Konami always claim that they believe that J. League will not be interesting enough for international consumers.

By late 2000s I’d learned that Japanese gamers may have to buy two copies of Winning Eleven each year – one for J. League, the other for the European leagues. No one-stop- playing like in FIFA, where a Korean can play K-League and also Premier League.

This weekend I went retro and played Winning Eleven J. League games for PlayStation 2, utilizing basic knowledge of Japanese, familiarity with PES/WE architecture that hardly changes, and good knowledge of J. League teams’ emblems and key players. Finally I could play both the league and the Emperor Cup.

I thought I could go all way to Winning Eleven 14, but turned out the Japan version ceased to be published for PlayStation 2 in 2012. My PlayStation 3 is not modded and it’s impossible to find a Japanese copy of WE 13 & 14 here.

But what I found next was startling – it’s not good to be a Japanese WE player either.

J. League in Winning Eleven 13 is a Downloadable Content – DLC. Maybe it’s free, but a Japanese who bought it and went home would not find her/his hometown club. Now, for many reasons some people don’t have their PS3 connected to broadband internet. That’d be suck, isn’t? And say, a Japanese student in United States ordered the Japanese copy through Amazon or bought it in Japan. Can he or she download the J. League DLC if the PS3 machine is located outside Japan? How can Konami be this cruel to Japanese football? Of course, the decision was made with the consent of J. League, if only the main reason was to prevent non-Japanese gamers from buying the Japanese edition so they can play J. League.

What about Winning Eleven 14? A parent who bought WE14 for their kids needed to spend another thousands of yens if the kid loves J. League. WE 14 does not have it, World Soccer Winning Eleven 14: Aoki Samurai no Chousen has it. And not on PSP (no, no Vita version).

I felt conned with Winning Eleven 14. The international version cruelly does not license Japan, has their home jersey color red, and put everyone name to be fictional. I won 2013 FIFA Confederations Cup after painstakingly putting in Honda, Kagawa, and Kawashima and renamed other players (painfully many played in Bundesliga), but red Japan looked yucky. So I looked for a PSP image for Aoki Samurai 14 and played it.

Again, had I been a Japanese I would’ve flipped the bird to Konami. Same terrible menu, same terrible songs. Road to Rio? In 2014 FIFA World Cup I could start from friendlies in 2010 before the first match against North Korea in fall 2011. In Aoki Samurai 14 I jumped straight to the Fourth Round, played away match to Oman with no regard for Oman’s jersey, Ali Al Habsi’s distinctive look (PS3 version might draw him like a Metal Gear Solid character, but the ugly generic jersey stays), and no home crowd as everyone was chanting “Nippon!”.

 

The meaning of all these

It’s all clear now. EA and Konami run the global duopoly of football video games, but Konami enjoys its rule of Japan and Asia (and parts of Latin America, especially Brazil) too much. It gives the same terrible menus, music, and licensing to Japanese gamers, knowing that they won’t switch to FIFA anyway. For a decade or more they have managed to ask Peter Brackley and Jon Champion to sound robotic, laconic, and boring. Not only they had to follow typical Japanese commenting style (once you can go past Jon Kabira’s “Shutto!” and “Nippon!”, all his banters will end with “Desu ne” and “Ee.”), but they had to follow the Japanese impression/stereotype of calm and composed English commentators.

It might be puzzling, but I believe the best explanation on why Konami and J. League guard the league jealously is because it does not want non-Japanese to play it. Of course, the ability to play K-League or MLS do not make Europeans want to visit Jeonju World Cup Stadium or CenturyLink Field, and I’ve known dozens of Westerners who stand on Saitama Stadium 2002 and Osaka Expo 70 proudly week by week, but Konami has a vision and that is that J. League should not be a global obsession (it has). To the point of ripping Japanese consumers by separating J. League from the vanilla Winning Eleven.

The only proper way to enjoy playing J. League in video games is to play it on FIFA – not as a mod, but as a real licensed league with licensed kits and rosters that are updated weekly, just like Saudi Pro League and A-League’s teams are. EA likes the idea, but Konami and J. League (and JFA) will not see it happen. Maybe J. League is wholly overrated, but somehow we can’t replace it in our heart with K-League or A-League.

So, Winning Eleven 2015? From what I understood today from Konami’s ad when watching Kashima v Urawa, maybe J. League will available in the vanilla game – in Japanese market. If it’s so, good for Japanese players.

WE/PES 15? I’m skeptical that Japan national team will be licensed. If it does, it means Konami has learned a lesson. Its primary perk for me would be 2014 AFC Champions League – I can play Kawasaki or Jeonbuk, or even re-enacting the great path of Western Sydney. 2013 ACL was dreadful, but it’s not Konami’s fault. Hiroshima had no decent player besides Nishikawa, Aoyama, and Sato, Ulsan were absent, Australia only had Central Coast, and I couldn’t love Evergrande no matter how I saw it.

If American critics like PES 2015 enough, I might be a sucker for the game, even only to play the ACL. Man.

 

 

Their love is for Manchester United, really

James come from Manchester. "Just Like Fred Astaire" was a soundtrack of my high school romance.

James come from Manchester. “Just Like Fred Astaire” was a soundtrack of my high school romance.

Few days ago I was surprised to know that Quinton Fortune is now an assistant coach to Cardiff City U-21. Hmm…Ole Gunnar Solksjaer…Quinton Fortune…Cardiff City.

Then, Salford City, which plays in…um…Northern Premier League Division One North is half-bought (50% shares, you see) by Singaporean Peter Lim. So that’s why the other owners – Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, and the Neville brothers (and yeah, Nicky Butt, he played for MU didn’t he?) were often spotted in Singapore in recent years. I thought they were just paying a visit to Paul Parker, who is now a Singaporean pundit.

I fell in love with Manchester United after borrowed Manchester United: The Double (often mistranslated by Asian pirates as Manchester United 2) in 1994. A serious bug (or deliberate design?) made Andy Cole always, always injured for 99 days even when benched. It is hectic as Sensible World of Soccer, but at least I could win the FA Cup and the EPL, unlike in Sensi.

Anyway, then Britpop came and I followed the EPL when everyone else in Indonesia was following Serie A (we always prefer Continental Europe than UK, unlike Malaysia-Singapore and Thailand). So there you go, from Giggs, the left midfielder in The Double, to Fortune, the sub midfielder in FIFA 2003 (I played Pro Evo Soccer/Winning Eleven since then, until returned to FIFA in 2009). Now they are working or partnering with a Southeast Asian Chinese.

Was Rio Ferdinand in MU back in FIFA 2003? Because he’s in Queens Park Rangers now. Well, he’s the only link between QPR and MU now. O yeah, there was Park Ji-sung.

Like Cardiff and Salford (and Valencia, probably), QPR is owned by a Southeast Asian. Not Chinese, but Indian. Tony Fernandes, perfectly the Southeast Asian version of Richard Branson (he was indeed a protege) operates Air Asia, Southeast Asia’s hippest airline (when my plane to Singapore was airborne, Girls’ Generation was played over the PA. I screamed in orgasm although sitting next to a Malay old man). He was also the Southeast Asian Donald Trump, being the boss of the regional version of The Apprentice. Actually there are more qualified of candidates here (being a nutty conservative/conspiracy theorist) but they are too camera shy.

You might remember that QPR sported the Malaysian Airlines logo in 2011-12 season. One year later, it changed to Fernandes’ own Air Asia. Coincidentally, in 2012 Cardiff City stole the headlines with the red dragon makeover. And theeen, Cardiff players were the one who wore the “Malaysia” word on their red shirts. Fernandes moved to Jakarta, to the heckles of who he described as “right wing bloggers”.

My Australian professors offered a wisdom – never, never believe rich Asians who said they were born poor. They were always born rich. Fernandes at least acknowledged his childhood of learning business from her mother’s Tupperware tea parties and his love for piano, while Tan’s family background is mysterious. All stories about him begins in 1985, when the 33-year old acquired the Sports Toto lottery from his good friend, then Prime Minister Mahatir Mohammed.

Peter Lim followed my professors’ rule by declaring that he is the son of a fishmonger…before saying that he’s an alumni of the Raffles Institution – Singapore’s most elite secondary school. In Australia, as an accounting student, he worked as a waiter, cook, and cab driver, although I’m not sure international students are permitted to become a taxi driver there. He built his fortune back in Singapore by becoming a real estate broker for Indonesian clients.

The second rule to be a Southeast Asian tycoon is to be close with the center of power, i.e. the ruling party. Australian and American tycoons can donate billions to the opposition party and criticize the government, but Malaysia and Singapore have not seen any change of government since their foundations. So Malaysian tycoons are friendly with the National Front coalition (the Chinese through Malaysian Chinese Association, the Indians through Malaysian Indian Congress), while Singaporean tycoons keep good relations with the People’s Action Party.

Make the movie. Make the movie. Make the movie.

Make the movie. Make the movie. Make the movie.

Peter Lim was known outside Singapore when he courted every club in Europe – Liverpool. Rangers. Valencia. Milan. Finally this year he settled with Valencia. Has he? Valencia did receive considerable coverage this year in Singapore, which is bit weird for a region that cares only about La Liga because of Real Madrid and Barcelona.

The third rule applies to Singapore – no one is permitted to be a famous tycoon in Singapore. No one is permitted to be more famed than the Lee family who runs the government. Peter Lim is probably the first tycoon of the 21st century that many people outside Singapore have heard of, and it’s precisely because of the Liverpool proposal and the Valencia purchase.

So we have the abrupt switch from “Malaysia’ sponsorship from Fernandes’ QPR to Tan’s Cardiff, Manchester United Class of 92’s visits to Singapore, and the excitement of Valencia purchase. My guess is that Tan and Lim work for the government.

The real owners of Cardiff City and of Valencia (and Salford) are the Malaysian and Singaporean governments, respectively. Just like Manchester City is owned by the Emirate of Abu Dhabi and Paris St. Germain is owned by Qatar. They are not Glazer brothers or John Henry, who can contribute billions to American political parties but do not work on behalf of Washington.

Still, they are unhappy with what they have. Because their (the billionaires and the governments) main prize is Manchester United. So far they have to be content with faux-MU – Salford, red Cardiff City, Rio Ferdinand, and Valencia. Valencia? Yes, when they have got Mata back. Too bad about Solskjaer.